Lost cause

If only she knew

That her heart is far too big for this town

She can see her dreams ahead of her

And they seem to tease her as her fingertips can nearly brush them

Her body struggles against the restraints this place have shackled on her

And she screams and cries as she loses hope,

Blaming herself for not being strong enough

If only she knew she was chained her from the start

Someday she’ll grow old and wither in this town with the rest of the sad souls

She’ll never know it wasn’t her fault

She never had a chance

She had so much promise,

It burned bright inside of her chest

But this town has a way of putting even the brightest of stars to rest.

-r.e.

Pray

He asked me how I’m doing, how’s school, what are my friends like. I answered every question with a smile and kept the topic on myself. I couldn’t ask him how he was doing, how he was feeling, how his day was going. I already knew the answers.

I hadn’t expected him to be so frail. He looked too small compared to his armchair. His body seemed to be slowly and painfully caving in on itself, it was hard to watch. It was hard to look away.

I noticed the way her eyes savored him, as though she was worried it would be the last time she would see him laughing… Or breathing. It very well could have been the last time. You never know.

I watched her as she struggled to stand up from the couch. She rocked back and forth four times before successfully pushing off. With her back curving towards the ground and eyes cast down, she made her way to him. She put her hand in his and I swear she was just a skeleton with a thin layer of skin covering her bones. How did I not notice her shrinking before?

She stood next to him and smiled for a picture because my mother feels the need to document every moment in life. Then, once the photos were done, she continued to stand next to him for awhile. I could see how difficult it was for her to stand up straight but she wasn’t ready to leave his side. How could she ever be ready? They’ve been together since they were 15. She would never be ready to let go. She spent her entire life with this man and now she has to watch him decay right before her very eyes.

I wanted to hug her and tell her that it would be alright. I wanted to tell her that they would be joined together for eternity in heaven, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t even believe it myself. I haven’t had faith in heaven since I was young.

However, in that moment, I bowed my head and prayed to a God that I didn’t even truly believe was there. I prayed that there was a place where they could join each other again. A better place than here. Somewhere where they could be young and healthy. There has to be a place where lovers can be free after death. I prayed to God that there was a heaven waiting for them.

-r.e.

 

Do Not Think

Do not think about the new girl touching his skin

Does it make him smile?

Don’t think about how they kiss

Does it make his heart burn with desire?

Do not think about the way he looks into her eyes

Does it make his cheeks flush?

Don’t think about the way he holds her

Does he gently rub her back until she falls asleep?

Do not think about how easily he let her in

Does he tell her all of his secrets?

Don’t think about the way he laughs at her jokes

Does she make him happy?

Do not think about how he tells her he loves her

He used to love me.

-r.e.

Savior

She found him withering into something that was less than a man
And she put everything she had into making him whole again
She cupped his life in her little hands
And fed him unconditional love to heal him
His roots began to hug her warm skin
And slowly dug their way in
She knew it was dangerous
Because while she was his savior and his light,
He was a weed
Slowly draining the life out of her
And when she finally realized it, it was too late
His infectious roots had reached her core
And wrapped themselves firmly around her already fragile heart
“My love will be the end of me,” she cried
But she never let him see
Just how much his poison was making her weak
She held him tighter as her heartbeat slowed
And even until her final breath, she refused to let him go.
-r.e.

6 Word Tragedy

BANG! They won’t tease me anymore.

-r.e.

Ms. Q

Today I’m not posting a poem or a short story like I normally do because I was having a conversation with my dad that conjured up some pent-up emotions that I didn’t realize existed anymore. My dad and I were talking about my high school teachers and experiences. The most important part of high school for me was the plays and musicals that I performed in, acting kept me going. I started to talk about one of my high school directors who led the shows for two years, Ms. B. I didn’t get along with Ms. B, I don’t really know if anyone did. I had a problem with her because she would always talk about the kids in her acting classes like they were superior to the rest of us who only did the shows. I always found this particularly insulting because it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t take her acting classes in the first place, my honors schedule wouldn’t allow it. Another thing that bothered me was I didn’t doubt my acting skills, I am not cocky and I’m not an extremely confident person but I am confident in my acting capabilities. One day I sat down with her to tell her that the way she spoke to us, as though the kids in her acting classes were better, was insulting and hurtful. She looked me straight in the eye and said “Well, I’m sorry Rachel but it’s the truth. You will not compare to the kids in my acting classes. You can’t be as good as them.” I had never been so infuriated in my entire life. Her words stung and I still reflect on that conversation to this day.

Thankfully, the day came when Ms. B announced that she would be leaving us for another school and I didn’t shed a single tear. When school started back up, we had a new and young director who I will call “Ms. Q”. Ms. Q was spontaneous and cheerful, constantly lifting us up and encouraging us to be our best. In my senior year of high school, I got the role of my dreams, Lydia Lansing in Shakespeare in Hollywood. Lydia Lansing was a spunky, obnoxious actress who was trying to make it big. She was the comedic, leading-lady role I had always hoped for. While we were rehearsing in full costume during tech week, I noticed Ms. Q watching from the audience and snapping pictures of us on stage. I didn’t think anything of the pictures or wonder at all about what she was planning to do with them. Finally, the day of the first show arrived and I was beyond ecstatic and ready to perform. When we walked into the dressing room to get ready, there were little gift bags waiting for us at our tables. Inside of my gift bag was a magnet with a picture of me, as Lydia Lansing, decked out in a full-length, sparkly dress with the words “And though she be but little, she is fierce” printed on the picture. Ms. Q took the time out of tech week to take individual pictures of each member of the cast and tech crew. She made everyone magnets with their photo and an individualized Shakespeare quote that she believed resembled them the best. When I told my dad about all of this, I started to cry. This happened over a year ago and I can still get emotional about it today. Ms. Q gave me my confidence back after it had been severely damaged from two years with Ms. B.

I hope you took the time to read all of this because the message is very important. Show kindness to everyone, be encouraging and lift people up because you don’t know how badly they may need it. I know that I will meet plenty of amazing people in my life but no matter how many years pass or how many people come and go, I will always remember Ms. Q.

Love always,

Rachel Eroh

Wishes

6 years old

Eyes twinkling, reflecting the candles on the cake

Rosy cheeks and pudgy fingers

Dreaming, hopeful, young-naivety

“Make a wish sweetie”

I wish to be older, prettier, smarter.

 

18 years old

Eyes dark, cast down at her feet

Sunken cheeks and fingers twisted in her lap

Abused, exhausted, lost

“Make a wish sweetie”

I wish I could be young again.

-r.e.

My Theory

Where do you keep all the broken hearts that you stole?

Do the make you feel happy?

Do they make you feel whole?

I have a theory

That maybe you’re broken too

I think one day you saw all the pain you caused

Or maybe you always knew

But whichever the case, I think you feel lost

In a winding maze of mistakes

That maybe you forgot

There are people who’ve been next to you since day one

And love you despite the fact that you’re aiming at them

With your finger on the trigger of the gun

So stop firing at the ones who are there

Or else, before you know it

There will be no one left who will care.

-r.e.

Red and Blue

The boy covers his eyes from the sin

As he sits huddled in the corner

While noises and colors blur around him

He can’t hide from the mess

And he doesn’t fully understand

But his heart won’t stop pounding in his chest

The white walls of the house flash red, blue, red, blue, red, blue

Then they zip up the bag and take the body outside

Oh what did daddy do?

-r.e.

Under the Sheets

It’s all hugs and kisses beneath the comforter

But when she steps out of the covers,

She feels utterly alone

And as hard as she tries to deny it,

She knows it’s not love if it only exists under the sheets.

-r.e.