The World's Gone Quiet

All the thoughts in my head

Valentine

 

screenshot-2017-02-14-11-25-52

Here I am, desperately grasping at memories

Wondering where the spark went

There was a fire that burned steadily between us

But I fear that I put that flame out on my own,

Maybe a long time ago

And I am sorry that in my own self-destruction

I destroyed the only true love I have ever known

I am sorry that I felt too much too soon

That my own fire burned out too quickly

I am sorry that I feel incapable of feeling anymore

But more than anything

I am sorry that I fell out of love

Just as quickly as I fell in it.

-r.e.

 

Advertisements

The distance between

Screenshot 2017-01-17 21.00.05.png

As I sip on my bitter, room-temperature black tea
The way you like to drink it
I’m hit by the sudden cloud of loneliness
That has become a nightly visitor of mine
It rolls over me as the sun cowers behind the mountains
When the sky shifts from red, to orange, to purple, to black
I’m struck by the realization that you are just now soaking in the sun’s morning rays
I imagine the light as it lazily makes its way into your bedroom
Illuminating your tousled hair that I love so much
And kissing your eyelids with soft warmth
It’s at this time of day
Where the distance between us creates a sizable hole in my chest
And it’s in this moment that I realize how truly far away I must be
If the sun’s touching you but it’s not touching me.
-r.e.

*Special thanks to my best friend who gave me the inspiration for this poem. Tu me manques, Casey.

Our hearts

screenshot-2016-12-26-09-52-40

If our bodies were birthed from this Earth

Then our mother gave you a leaf for a heart

Light and airy

Flowing with the breeze

But she blessed me with a stone in my chest

Hard and heavy

And easy to sink.

-r.e.

but you said

You said you would never leave me

And you know that it’s my biggest pet peeve

When people make promises that they can’t keep.

-r.e.

not like the movies

screenshot-2016-11-16-22-05-05

You told me you loved me
As you pushed my underwear to the side
And I wondered if you knew
That my heart was not located between my thighs.
-r.e.

Cruel

Screenshot 2016-11-13 23.41.38.png

You were the cruelest heart I had ever seen

You were black and blue, like the world had beaten you too

But unlike me, you let it harden your soul

You crumpled into yourself

Imploding into a lifeless black hole

Sucking in and ripping apart anything that got too close

And then spitting out shreds of something that was once complete

And I, seeing hope in something that was hopeless

I dived in headfirst, without hesitation

A foolish sacrifice in an attempt to save you

If only I had known

The destruction you were capable of

Beneath the calm demeanor and smile

I should have known

To turn around before getting caught

In the gravitational pull of your empty stare

I wish I had known

You never wanted to be saved.

-r.e.

Sensitive

“I’m sorry I’m too soft”

The first time I said those words I knew it was a mistake

They should have apologized to me

For allowing me to believe that having feelings was wrong

Or that my emotions were insignificant

And above all,

For making me feel too small,

Too delicate

To be loved.

-r.e.

 

 

 

 

My muse

You, my love, are my only muse left
Nothing else seems to inspire these words to bleed from my fingers anymore
Except for you
When my body feels drained of creativity
As if I’ve been locked in a purely white room for days
The simple memory of your smile
Or your color-changing eyes
Seem to cause my fingers to twitch in anticipation
And I have an undeniable need to sketch out your body with words
Because sometimes when I make feeble attempts to describe your kiss, your touch, your scent
I can almost feel your presence
My muse, all I ask of you
Is that you continue to rekindle the fire within me
Whenever you see me growing dim
Because without you, I will fade into the abyss of normality
Muse, I beg you
Help me to remember who I am
When I can’t control the storm in my head
And when I reach for the pills beside my bed
Please place a pen in my hand instead
Make me write until the clutter in my mind settles,
My tears run dry,
And I can breathe again.
-r.e.

 

Mother Earth

Screenshot 2016-05-29 12.31.39

I am a child of this Earth

But I do not feel worthy

What if my foot prints became scars upon the skin of my Mother?

I meant to tread lightly

And to treat my home with love and respect

This home that I do not deserve,

Yet She still so graciously gave to me

And even though I was born from this soil

I fear that when my time comes to lay back down on this Earth to rest

My Mother won’t accept me again.

-r.e.

 

Goodbye

screenshot-2016-09-21-20-47-33

lost in a breath

a fleeting moment

a missed opportunity fading

with every retreating footstep.

-r.e.