The World's Gone Quiet

All the thoughts in my head

Month: July, 2016

Tempt

I wish I had met you a year ago

Before I became enveloped in unhealthy habits and people

Because now I’m afraid to touch you

Out of fear that my dirt will rub off on your porcelain skin

But all I want to do is run my fingers over your arms and wrap them in your hair

And the devil knows I always give into temptations

But you’re the purest soul I’ve ever seen

And in my heart I know that it would be wrong to not keep you clean.

-r.e.

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Just a kid

She watched the violence unravel every night through the cracked door
In the shadows she could see his fist collide with her cheek
And her mother’s head hit the floor
Then she would wait for the familiar pop of the beer bottle
And the sound of his footsteps as they receded to his room and locked the door
As quietly as she could, she would tiptoe to her mother’s side
And hold her hand until she opened her eyes
She was just a child
Who was never given the chance to be a kid
Most nights she stayed up healing her mother’s wounds
And her mother’s pride
No one could see the damage being done within
Her mom would take her by the shoulders, begging her not to speak of anything
She would smile weakly and say “he hits me because he loves me.”
This was the only love she knew, it was the only love she saw
So when Tommy broke her nose on the playground
She thought he was the one.
-r.e.

How my nights go

This is how my nights go
I shut my eyes, only to be awoken by the image of you
Frustrated and tired, I rub my hands over my face
Trying to wipe away the memories
But you have been permanently etched behind my eyelids
And as hard as I try, I can’t get away

This is how my nights go
I toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position
And I remember how easily I fell asleep in your arms
I know I could rest, if only I could untangle myself from my confusing mess of emotions– lust and hate

This is how my nights go
I stare into the darkness
Stuck between wanting to be with you, knowing it won’t be the same
And wishing I could just love myself on my own.
-r.e.

*Disclaimer*** My poems and stories are not always about me, nor do they always reflect my current state of being or opinion.

Just a number

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Everything about her is defined by a number

And she can’t seem to escape it

It suffocates her

And everyday she wiggles into a pair of jeans

That are one size too small for her

Which ends up just making her feel worse about herself

She’s spiraling down into a hole of self-hate and pity

And she doesn’t realize how dangerous that path is

Or know that there is no way out

The world screams at her, telling her to love herself

That she is beautiful no matter what

But she is blinded by the image of her body in the mirror

As she compares herself to the tiny models

In skin-tight dresses that she can’t fit into

She’s losing herself,

Starving herself,

Letting herself become just a number.

-r.e.

 

 

Lost cause

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If only she knew

That her heart is far too big for this town

She can see her dreams ahead of her

And they seem to tease her as her fingertips can nearly brush them

Her body struggles against the restraints this place have shackled on her

And she screams and cries as she loses hope,

Blaming herself for not being strong enough

If only she knew she was chained her from the start

Someday she’ll grow old and wither in this town with the rest of the sad souls

She’ll never know it wasn’t her fault

She never had a chance

She had so much promise,

It burned bright inside of her chest

But this town has a way of putting even the brightest of stars to rest.

-r.e.

For the best

Screenshot 2016-07-10 22.03.06

The problem isn’t that you changed

But that I changed too.

-r.e.

The land of opportunity

When has screaming and fighting ever created peace?

Hasn’t your throat grown sore and your voice become weak?

We should be banding together

Becoming ONE NATION

And empowering one another, trying to find a solution

Instead of pointing fingers

There are flaws in every system

But not one race, color or job occupation is to blame

Once we accept that as a human race we are imperfect

We can move on and become one force

To end corruption, oppression and profiling

We are in a delicate place right now

As one tragedy after another occurs

But it has given us this chance to stand against the problems that threaten to crumble our society

This is called the land of opportunity

And I think it is time to live up to that name.

-r.e.

Better off alone

How can it be

That I feel lonelier in your arms

Than I do when no one is holding me?

-r.e.

All she wants

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All she wants

Is for you to hold her the way you used to

Like she was more than just another girl laying in your bed

You used to hold her like she was your lifeline

She had never felt needed like that before

And it filled her with relief and a sense of safety

All she wants

Is for you to listen to her the way you used to

Like her words were more than just words

You listened to her talk as though every sound that left her lips

Was filled with endless possibilities and wonders

No one had ever listened to her like that before

And it made her feel important

All she wants

Is for you to love her the way you used to

Like she was the last sun in your endless universe

And that without her there would be total darkness

She had never felt loved like that before

And as hard as she tries to regain what has been lost

She can feel you slipping away

Now all she wants

Is for you to simply stay.

-r.e.