The World's Gone Quiet

All the thoughts in my head

Month: October, 2015

Show and Tell

I watch as cars fly by on the street below me and all I can think about is how much I wish I could drive away too. I don’t know where I would go but that’s not important. All I want to do is drive down an endless road, blast my music, and scream at the top of my lungs. A sigh escapes my lips as I daydream and rest my chin on my palm. Somewhere in my mind I hear my name being called, it grows louder until I realize it’s not in my head. My gaze snaps up to see my teacher staring straight down at me.

“Rachel, I asked if you are ready to present the contents of your bag,” her eyes pierce into mine.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” I quickly gather my paper bag off of the floor and rush up to the front of the class.

I face my peers and take a quick look around. They’ve been listening to the same presentation all period, which consists of everyone sharing the objects in their bag that describe who they are and what is most important to them. I’m last to go and I can tell no one cares to hear what I have to say. I take a deep breath and begin taking the contents out of my bag one by one, giving a little description of each. I show them pictures of my family and the shows I’ve been in. There’s concert tickets and photos with my closest friends. I take out my father’s necklace, my most precious item and gently put it on my neck. Then I look down to the last content in the bag. It’s a picture of the boy who stole my heart, looking so young and carefree as he smiles back up at me. I feel the familiar stab in my chest as I stare back at it.

I remember when I was trying to figure out what to put in my bag for this assignment. I had gone to my blue memory box that I keep under my bed that’s filled with pictures and random memorabilia. As I dug through the box and begun to fill my bag with items, I had come across all the pictures of the boy that I had recently taken off my wall. In a fury of tears, I had torn them off and shoved them into the box so they wouldn’t stare at me every morning anymore. Facing them again for the first time was not any easier. I had shuffled through the photos until I had found my favorite picture of him and threw it into my bag.

Now as my eyes start to glaze over with tears, my fingers tremble on the edges of the picture inside of my little brown bag. My mind wanders to all of our memories and a bitter taste fills my mouth as I recall the last time I spoke to him. I hear someone in the class clear their throat expectantly and I’m drawn back into reality to find everyone staring at me questioningly. I blink a few times and shut my bag.

“That’s everything you need to know about me,” I shrug and hurry back to my desk.

I shove my paper bag into my backpack and refuse to let myself look at the photo again. Instead I place my chin on my palm, stare out the window, and go back to wishing that I could be anywhere else but here.

-r.e.

Go, Going, Gone

I heard you say “I’ll always love you”

And all I could choke out was “I know”

Why is that what they always say

Right before they let me go?

-r.e.

Slipping

I had finally learned to let go,

But then in you I found a new home

And now no matter how hard I try

I can feel you slipping through my grasp

Funny how everything I hold dear

Never quite lasts.

-r.e.

Bare

In the dim light she stares at her bare body in the mirror
So soft, so delicate
She watches as strong hands begin to glide smoothly over her curves from behind
Teasing her skin with every touch
Her head tilts back with pleasure
As a tiny sigh escapes her lips
And suddenly the hands become rougher, hungrier
And her sigh turns into a gasp
But she tries not to show that it hurts
Because she wants this,
right?
Her body begins to ache
And she tries to shut it out as tears well in her eyes
Then suddenly the hands are gone
And she realizes she’s alone
Her eyes graze back over her body
To find bruises where the hands once were
A painful reminder of how foolish she had been
And how she had confused intimacy with love.
-r.e.

Black Sandy Beaches by The Dear Hunter

Screen Shot 2015-10-02 at 2.36.34 PM

Have you ever heard a song that grips your heart so tight that you can’t stop listening? I’ve recently started listening to The Dear Hunter and one of their songs specifically speaks to me, I’ve been listening to it on repeat for two days now. The song is called “Black Sandy Beaches” and before I talk about why it’s so amazing, I have to explain something that I deeply love about the band. The Dear Hunter creates CDs with songs that tell a story. There is an Act 1 CD, Act 2, Act 3 and Act 4. Act 1 starts with a prostitute giving birth to a baby boy and the story follows his childhood life. Act 2, which includes the song “Black Sandy Beaches”, starts with the death of the boy’s mother. Following her death, he travels to help him understand her life better and he ends up falling in love with a prostitute named Ms. Leading. Their love eventually dies off due to the fact that he can’t understand and come to terms with her job. The song before “Black Sandy Beaches” is called “Dear Ms. Leading”. “Dear Ms. Leading” consists of the letters that he writes to her, telling her that he can’t be with her anymore. Then “Black Sandy Beaches” is the story of a girl stumbling upon the letters in glass bottles on the beach. She’s reading the letters and is happy that Ms. Leading never read them, “Oh how she smiles from vicarious love from the one he writes about. She must have been so glad for him to throw it out”. But then she discovers another letter that is stained with tears and wonders who was crying over them, “Whose tears were these which ran the ink? From whom they bore to make this streak? Where they his by chance from telling her? Or hers by chance from reading it?”. The girl continues to read on and starts to cry over Ms. Leading and the pain she must have experienced from the heartbreak, “Oh how she cries from vicarious pain from the one he writes about. She must have been so sad for him to throw her out”. She chooses to be hopeful that maybe Ms. Leading is content, wherever she is now, “Let’s just say she has never been happier, happier than she is now”. The song drew me in and now I can’t let go of their story. The singer, Casey Crescenzo, has a voice that is filled with a passion that breaks my heart and makes me feel whole at the same time. I deeply encourage everyone to listen to the song.

Love always,

Rachel Eroh